Don’t Forget Why You Work So Hard in Real Estate Investing

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And now let’s get started with today’s show.
Hey, it’s Mike Hambright with flipnerd.com. Welcome back for another exciting VIP interview, where I interview successful real estate investing experts and entrepreneurs in our industry to help you learn and grow.
Today I’m joined by Brian Meara. He’s a real estate investor, previously known as the Short Sale Stallion. He’s a serial entrepreneur. Brian has got a really interesting story, from paperboy to altar boy to being fired from every job he’s ever had, like 28 jobs, to creating the top short sales training system in America. Brian is a terminal cancer survivor, is the son of four boys, including triplets. Imagine that.
On many of our shows, we really dig into the main function of what our guests do in their business. While we could easily dig into Brian’s business, and we will a little bit to understand what he’s working on, I thought it’d be fitting today for a different kind of show, a different kind of lesson. And that is to learn from Brian’s life lessons. He’s really been through a lot, had a lot of success as a short sale guy, still works on that. But obviously somebody’s moved his cheese along the line.
A lot of us face that as real estate investors, where you have to question, “What is it all for? How do I constantly reinvent myself to be successful? When is enough enough?” A lot of those lessons. I thought it’d be fitting to share that with you, because I think Brian’s got some great lessons. Before we get started today though, let’s take a moment to recognize our featured sponsors.
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Now, let’s start today’s show.
Mike: Hey, Brian, welcome to the show.
Brian: Hey, how are you?
Mike: Good, good. Thanks for being here, man. Hey, you’ve got such an interesting story. For me, I was telling you a little bit before the show, I have another good friend that had some kind of tragedy in their life that really forced me to think a lot about, “What is it all for?” I turned 40 this past year. I think you did too. I have a seven-year-old son, and my wife and I are kind of workaholics, we work all the time. There are always these periods where we think we’re on a mission to do something, but every once in a while you kind of have to ask yourself, “What is it all for? Why am I working this hard?”
I’m excited to hear more of your story and share that today. I think for a lot of people that listen to the show, a lot of real estate investors, they’re really in one of two groups. They either haven’t made it yet, they really want to find a way to be successful and leave their job, or they’ve made it and done well, but they don’t know when enough is enough. They keep grinding and try to take it to the next level and forgetting why you got into real estate investing in the first place, which was to have more control over your life and be free. You end up becoming a slave to your own businesses sometimes.
Brian: Yeah. [Inaudible 04:56] Mike: Brian, before we get started, why don’t you tell your story? Because I can’t tell it as well as you’ll be able to. Share your story with us.
Brian: Yeah, well, as far as the real estate story, I guess where do we begin? We begin in 2007. 2007 is when I actually got a divorce, and from that realized that I needed to start making some money, quick. I still had an IT staffing business at the time, but I figured with the real estate boom that was going on, let me get involved in real estate, capitalize on this. Went out and got my license, licensed in Jersey and PA, because born and raised in New Jersey, most of my business there. But moved right across the bridge. Again, just made sense, I got licensed in both states.
Now what’s interesting at that time in 2007 is that was just when short sales were popping up everywhere. I didn’t know what they were. They didn’t talk about them in real estate school. Just got a listing one day, and the way I got it was kind of funny. I was thrown into it because it kept going around the inter-office email, and no one seemed to want this listing. They were just giving it away. Me being naive, I took it and got into short sales. Took nine months, but we closed it.
I realized that not many people are doing this, or they’re doing it wrong. I just started searching out some really good people, and trying to find people that were doing webinars and trainings. Just found out there was a whole world out there. Immersed myself in it two years later by becoming an investor, and doing the whole thing with Nate and Chris, and Short Sales Riches just going for it, man. Becoming an investor. I did it hard. I did it full-time. And then everything changed on me.
That’s what you were talking about, what we were talking about earlier, is that everything changed. Now from that change, what initially to me seemed to be catastrophic and devastating, because all these new restrictions on short sales . . . I finally was building myself back up, getting out of the holes from the divorce and the debt and the nightmare that unfortunately many people can relate to. Like wow, I’m actually making it back, and things are going great, I got all of these deals. And they changed the rules on me.
And now that infamous bullet point number 10 with Bank of America, Countrywide, back in the day, Mike, put the hold period on the short sales. I pretty much knew I was out of business quickly if I didn’t come up with a way. Again, the silver lining in that whole mess is that led me to work with Jeff, and we created Flip Free Profits, which was the way to avoid the hold times in a legal manner and step aside and get paid and all that other good stuff.
Things have changed even since then, and I know we spoke about earlier, well, what is going on now? What has changed? I’m not working as hard, which is a good thing. And I think I’m not working as hard on the short sales specifically, because they’ve changed. I’m working on a bunch of different projects like we were talking about. But looking at the focus of the short sale business, Mike, that’s what I think a lot of people don’t understand right now. There’s always going to be a market for it. There’s always a market for it. You just have to approach it in a different way.
Really trying to look at how am I going to move forward now that I just turned 40, and not . . .
Mike: We’re getting old, man.
Brian: I’m getting old, man. Getting old. I don’t know. I think I went through a mid-life crisis, to be honest with you. I don’t think that’s supposed to happen until you’re 50-something, I don’t know.
Last year . . . I don’t think we talked about this. This is a good one; I’ll share this with you. The long story short is I was an alcoholic since I was 13 years old, and I never knew it. I come from a family that has had problems with alcohol, and I’ll just leave it at that. Generations back. You know, I swore, “I’ll never be that guy.” You know what I mean?
As I started realizing things since last May, there are things that you hide from yourself to protect yourself, because you don’t want to realize and admit you’ve become what you didn’t want to be. And you know, you could apply that to anything. Abuse, all these other things. For me, how can I put this? The epiphany, the awakening, was there were two events, and I’ll share them with you. But what that led to last Memorial Day weekend was a complete change in my life.
I don’t mean just physically and everything else. I’ll take about some of the changes, because I think it’s important to share. I think that there’s going to be people that are listening to this or watching this that are 39, or maybe 49, or 59, or 29. But they’re at these pivotal moments in their life where you just can’t go on the way it is. You just can’t.
To the point where I started thinking, “I don’t even want to live anymore.” I go back and I’m thinking, did the Short Sale Stallion, the wise guy, this leader of people, just say that? Yeah, man. I was in a really dark place. Because I was just drinking all the time. No one knew it. I was hiding it. But no one knew it? See, that’s what I told myself. Everybody knew it but me. Everybody talked about it, but not in front of me. When they would, they would say it in a joking manner that I would think, “Ha ha ha.” But no, there was no joke about it.
So two things changed. My niece, my oldest niece, my brother’s daughter, made an innocent comment, Mike. She said something to the effect of, “Well, every time we see Uncle Brian at these parties, yeah, he’s always drunk.” I’m thinking, this six-year-old girl, that’s her representation, that’s her mental image of her uncle. The big shot, the guru, right? That hurt.
That hurt, but it didn’t hurt as bad as what happened within 24 hours later, Memorial Day weekend. Which was when I was going to go out for the night, see some friends, go to some establishments nearby, bars. Friends of mine, legitimately, but it’s a good excuse to go out too late, being around the wrong people. Anyway, setting a good example for my sons. Funny how I never saw this, though. Funny.
Anyway, but it’s Saturday night, I’m getting ready to go out. Fast forward, I got to the point where I would always want to have a couple drinks before I went out for the night to get drunk, of course. Because you’ve got to have a little pre-game. I reached in for the bottle. I was all by myself, or at least I thought I was. I looked around, and I took a swig out of the bottle. It was vodka. Just taking a few shots, right, quick to the head. I looked over, and there was a mirror. There’s a mirror over there.
I caught my reflection, and I just saw myself like this. And dude, like it puts the chills on my neck now, thinking about it. “What have you become?” I don’t know, man. That was me hitting bottom. Bottom, bottom, bottom. So what did you do about it? Well, I went out and got drunker than ever, of course. The next day I was sick, and I was so sick that I decided that I was going to change, and change everything then. I quit drinking on the spot. I just quit. I haven’t drank anything since then.
Now I have had a beer or a glass of wine, but it doesn’t bother me now because I don’t let it control me anymore. I realized that I had a controlling problem with this alcohol, but why am I telling you all this? Because I was so clouded, and I realized that there were other people in my life, and there were so many men that had problems with alcohol.
I’m not some prohibitionist, dude. I had a beer with my brother last week. I didn’t take it to that level. What I’m saying is that as a man, I had to stop and realize that I had an abusive relationship with something that was affecting my relationships in every area of my life.
When I finally admitted that, it was easy to stop doing it. As a consequence, I was extremely overweight and extremely unhealthy. Extremely unhealthy. So since then, since last May, by changing my diet, committing to just start eating better, and just committing to start going to the gym and working out and stopping the alcohol, I completely transformed my body, dude. To the point where I’m ripped. I’ve got a six-pack. I’m at the leanest point in my life. I lost 60 pounds. I’ve never felt better. I get up at 5:30 every day without an alarm clock. I spend an hour in reading time, I pray to God, I do what I have to do for my spiritual life. I go to the gym, I come back, I get my kids breakfast, I take them to school. I lead the best day I can.
Mike: That’s awesome. Thank you for sharing that. I know that’s tough. Whether it’s alcohol . . . there are a lot of people I think that have other demons, if you will. For a lot of people, I think it’s work. They just bury themselves in work, they work and they work, and they get unhealthy and they forget why they’re working so hard.
It starts to take on this life of its own, “I need to work hard,” for some reason because it’s like a fear of, something’s going to get taken away, or it’s a fear of something was taken away and I’ve got to get it back, or whatever it is. I think these are all addictions, different things that you face. I think that I’ve had some not realizations in my own life, that’s why I want to learn. Because like I said, I had a friend that had another crisis in their family health-wise with their child.
Hearing your story, what I really want people to take out of this is to think about why you work so hard. Of all the things that you say you want, why do you want those? Because I’ve heard people that I mentor, and they’ve never invested in real estate, say, “I want to buy 100 houses a year.”
For a while, we were doing 70 houses a year. I’ve never been up to 100, but we do it the hard way with a lot of rehabbing. I have plenty of friends that buy hundreds of houses a year. Some of them do it well. Some of them are a mess. You just say, “Are you sure you want that? Why do you want that?” Because that is a huge commitment in terms of what it’s going to take you to pull that off in a lot of ways. I think there are a lot of people that are enamored with real estate investing and want to be successful in real estate investing. But when they get there, it’s not what they thought it was, if they get there.
Brian: I think that’s the thing. What I learned, this self-realization, I’ll tell you what, by having the veil lifted and finally thinking that I really felt that I could always see, but now I had vision, and I can see everything. I can see in the past and I can see in the future.
In a sense, not being weird, but I see things about myself, both what I did and what I can do in the future. One of the things I realized is exactly what you’re talking about, is that I was addicted to work as well. To the point where I would just always be on my phone, my email, my websites, my this, checking on my houses and my coaching students. Just always, as much as I would say that I was trying to always keep that separate, I was just always busy. The only person you would have to ask would be number one, my children, and the fact that I was working all the time.
Like you said, what are we doing this for? So I started to really divide my time and set some serious . . . let’s just say walls that I put up and started guarding my personal time, my family time enough. I’ll tell you what. The exact opposite of what I feared, a reduction in productivity, I actually started becoming more productive by being more guarded of my time. That in and of itself changed my life. That is huge.
Mike: Yeah, absolutely. I’ve struggled with that. My challenge is my wife and I work together, so it’s hard to draw that boundary. You’re lying in bed at night, and, “Oh, did you remember to do that? You have to do this tomorrow.” Just never get away from it, and we struggle with those boundaries of what’s work and what’s not work.
Brian: Right. Never turns off, right?
Mike: Yeah, yeah, it’s tough. Man, share some lessons learned. You’ve shared a lot with us, probably more than any other guests, so thank you so much for opening up there, but . . .
Brian: You asked me to just be real, and this is who I am.
Mike: No, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I know the people that are listening right now appreciate that too, because you’ve shared a lot. Maybe give us some lessons of what others can learn from this. Because I think there’s a lot of people that just heard what you shared, and it resonates with them one way or another.
It’s not necessarily that it had anything to do with alcohol or anything else, but it could just be thinking again of, “Why do I work so hard? What is it all for? What is it I’m trying to accomplish here? How can I be smarter with my time and stop fooling myself and saying I have to work this hard in order to provide for my family?” Because there are a lot of ways to be smarter about it, as you and I both know.
Just maybe let’s share some lessons here with what other people, how they can learn from you and what you’ve shared without having to necessarily hit bottom and go through that themselves?
Brian: Yeah, I think I can definitely talk on that, because here’s the thing, Mike. The alcohol was simply a thing. The alcohol was one thing that I was abusing, but it was causing all these other problems that even without the alcohol, people have.
People aren’t managing their time properly, people aren’t spending the proper amount of time with their family, people’s spiritual lives are in a mess, and their finances are in a wreck. Most people are in too much debt. People don’t have any savings any more in this country. I mean, there are a million problems.
Mike: Absolutely.
Brian: I found myself in the same trap, minus the savings part and some other innate things that I’ve learned over the years. The point being, getting what I heard many years ago, and getting your vertical alignment correct. Meaning that whatever your spiritual belief is, I’m a Christian, but whatever you are, you make sure you have your spiritual life right.
Then after that, what’s after God is your family. Then after your family, and this is your ranking of priorities, in how you should set everything-your time, your calendar, your money, everything. Think about it. Your priorities of life, your vertical alignment.
I heard this many years ago as a young man, and for whatever reason, as I started thinking clearly again, it came back to me. I realized how upside down I had it. But see, the thing you want me to share with your listeners is I guarantee you, 90% of them have it wrong too. That’s not a slam at them. I’m the king of scumbags, what do you want me to tell you? But you know what, I recognized it and turned it around. Putting God at the head of my life again, below that is your family. Next comes your business. Your finances. Whatever your job, whatever you’re doing presently to make money.
Then of course you go at the bottom of the list. Your hunting, your beer drinking, your chicken wing eating. Whatever you’re doing selfishly should be at the bottom, where I was taking every free minute and trying to go out and have my social life. Blaming it on business of course, the cocktails and all that.
The point is, once I had this revelation, Mike, and putting my spiritual alignment right, meaning having my spiritual life right with God, my walk with God, doing right, being a better father. There it is right there. You want to talk about a motivator? My dad’s a great man, and he’s still alive, but there were some things in the way he raised me that I promised I wouldn’t do. I found myself doing them with my children. Nothing abusive by any means, don’t get me wrong, but point being I think the key in what I’ve learned of all this is how to be present.
It’s something I’m struggling with to this day. When your kids are there, and your phone’s on and it’s ringing, even if it’s not ringing, I found myself trying to intentionally be busy when I wasn’t busy. I don’t even know what I mean by that, and I don’t know if anybody can relate to that.
Mike: I do. I struggle with that too.
Brian: But my kids would be there wanting to talk to me, and I’m embarrassed to say this, but I would just not really want to hear what they were saying, just try to find something on Facebook and scroll through the feed. I’m so embarrassed to say that. I feel like such a piece of trash as a father that I couldn’t give that undivided attention. I don’t do it all the time. Nobody gives their undivided attention, but it’s something I’m working on, and being present in the moment. Taking my phone and putting it away at the dinner table, and actually listening to how their day was.
Do you even know, and I’ll speak to you fathers out there, if someone was to ask you, what is your child working on in school? What was their biggest accomplishment so far this year? Did you know the year is more than half over? What’s their favorite color? If you don’t know those things, I challenge you to get your vertical alignment right. That’s it. That’s the only thing I can share, my friend.
Mike: Yeah, no, I appreciate that. What do you think in terms of . . . not that this stuff doesn’t exist outside of real estate investing, of course it does Just people not being present? It’s easier than ever to jump on social media and get lost in other people’s worlds. It’s really easy, as you know. I’m going to mess this quote up, but they said that, “your email inbox is a neatly organized place for other people’s agendas to basically steal your time.” Which is true. When you hear that, it’s like oh my God, that’s so true.
I do it all the time. All the things that you mentioned, I struggle with myself. It’s hard to be present because I’m afraid I’m going to miss something in my business, or one of my businesses, or somebody needs me. Like you said, your family’s right there. They need you, man. They need you. None of this other stuff matters without them.
It’s tough. But as real estate investors, do you think . . . I believe this, and I’m not trying to make excuses here at all-that it’s exacerbated, these issues you’re saying, because it tends to be a feast or famine business? Like you said, short sales used to be hot, now they’re not. You constantly have to re-invent yourself. It’s not like we’re selling tacos or pizzas, where sales are up or down 3 to 5% every day. You may go weeks without doing anything, and then you hit a home run. Then you go weeks without doing anything, then you hit a home run.
It’s just this massive rollercoaster, financially and emotionally. It’s such, like I said, a feast or famine business that I think a lot of us get hung up, worried about the famine, so we feast all the time.
Brian: It’s huge. See, that’s the problem. Aside from what you’ll see on these webinars, and from phony people out there, if you’re a real real estate investor, you are going to have ups and downs. You’re going to have months where, here’s a good one, you may make no money. Now depending on the type of investment you’re doing, of course. Rentals, portfolios. What I’m saying is just talking to people that are just getting involved like you were saying, people that are trying to determine what type of real estate they’re doing.
Hey, flippers? If you’re just flipping houses, you’re going to have a lot of cycles. Look at realtors. They only get paid when houses close. I think even a lot of agents go through similar things. A lot of agents go through very similar things.
You know what I mean? That’s the thing. I think that knowing that you’re going to have these ups and downs, but always have your base, and continue that base of what you can count on, that solid base. Whether it’s through rentals, whether it’s through other recurring forms of passive income investments. There are many different ways. That’s not the purpose of what we’ll get into. But to continually increase that, as I have done over the years, is the one thing I was taught, to never let that go.
Because your business is always going to be like this. They’re always going to come out with a new FHA addendum that basically made me decide a few months ago, I’m never doing an FHA deal again. Well, that sounds great, but guess what? There are a whole lot of them out there. I just stripped off a huge portion of business, but it just comes with too many strings. I just don’t want to deal with it anymore. That being said, like you mentioned before, who moved the cheese? It’s continually moving. But just knowing that it’s going to move like that, and being able to put in place certain things, residual in nature, etc., whatever they are, it’s key.
Mike: No doubt about it. I think that’s one of my bigger lessons of the last few years. And this market shift to more of a seller’s market, for a lot of people, it’s gotten harder to buy. It’s like, wow. I didn’t really realize it at the time, but thank God that I built a rental portfolio. Thank God that I have some other sources of revenue now through the coaching and mentoring that I do.
Because it makes it easier to weather these storms, then. Your example, your background in short sales is perfectly, because that’s something that’s very much changed. It’s not that they’re not always going to be around. They always have been around. But there’s always going to be a place for that. But I think a lot of real estate investors, particularly wholesalers, if they only wholesale, and they’re not building passive income, they’re not doing other things, they’re not looking around the corner to what’s next, what’s going to change, how do I prepare myself for that, I think people are going to struggle.
Brian: They are, I agree with you 100%. That’s the thing. That’s why the whole Short Sale Stallion thing, I’ve always been doing other things with the short sales. Granted, there were different flavors of how we did it, but then starting to get into the many rehabs, the cosmetic rehabs, the bulk packaging, the tapes, all the things we talked about earlier. These were always things I was interested in, but I never took the time to actually pursue them until I realized that, well, while short sales will always be there, and I believe that you can always have a business to feed yourself with them at a minimum, but who wants to just do that?
I think most people are investing in what they considered to be a hot niche at the time, with most people starting off in wholesaling. That being said, you can go there from anywhere. Short sales, again, I would never do a Flip Free Profits 3.0. There would be no reason for it. I’m just going to put out some updates on my blog and things of that nature to help the people that bought the system who still want, or I should say unfortunately, have to do them. But other than that that’s pretty much it.
Mike: Yeah. Any tips or advice you can give people on how to prepare for changes, and how to build up some other streams of revenue and things like that, so they don’t have all their eggs in one basket?
Brian: Yeah. I think one of the things I’m really thankful for that I’ve had the entire time is that I started with an IT consulting and staffing firm that I founded in 2001. I got involved in the industry in the ’90s, and started a company and worked it really hard throughout everything.
Then pretty much just maintained it in an ownership, passive way. Maybe requiring five, 10 hours of my time a week if that. But it’s outside of real estate. I think that that’s the thing, is their whole world is in real estate. Well, what if the whole real estate industry should happen to take a turn again? Having that, having other businesses I’m involved in, and investments, I have more of a comfort level for me, for my family, knowing that it’s not if short sales go away, I’m going to go bankrupt.
You have to have other things going on. I know you’re involved in HomeVestors and the different things you’re doing. That’s the thing with me with the Internet marketing, why I’m so excited about it. The ability to be able to share what I’m doing with people, create a new product, and market it, sell it, I make money. They learn a new system. Then what happens is from there, it’s a matter of growth, because I start working with people who I eventually will work with in coaching students and all that other thing.
For me, it just expands out like an octopus. The key for your listeners, I think, is what it comes down to is the network. Like we were discussing earlier with that conference. Taking the time, and one of the things I’ve always, with my coaching and my Internet students, I try to help them to understand, Mike, is that in the beginning especially it’s going to take a lot of time to really get in your car, go to a networking event, join that REI club.
Go to that business card luncheon, that business card exchange, the breakfast businessman’s meeting at 7:00 a.m. that you don’t want to get to that’s an hour away from you. You take the time to do those things, and incorporate social media, joining the right groups, really getting involved with LinkedIn, which has a more professional nature, of course. Taking the time both off and online, that’s how you’re going to stay ahead of everybody. You’re going to be able to network with the right people.
Mike: Yeah, I talk about networking quite a bit.
Brian: Your reputation will precede you.
Mike: Yeah, I talk about networking quite a bit. I think it’s one of those things that you’ve got to commit to, because you’re never going to get the payoff for it right now. It’s going to be down the road.
Well Brian, if folks want to learn more about you and some of the things you’re working on, where do they go?
Brian: The best thing is the new blog that I put up, guys. It’s called “Thee Wise Guy.” The only reason is because “The Wise Guy” was taken, so I had to go “Thee.” I figured the whole easy to remember, so T-H-E-E, “Wise Guy,” “S” or “Z” will work. But basically the concept, let me explain that. I didn’t want to be known as the Short Sale Stallion of course anymore. I’m doing so many other things. But what I wanted to was looking back at the things that happened over my life, like you said, man.
With the cancer and just all the different things I’ve been through, I’ve really, at this age of my life, now that I’m 40, I wanted to try and give back to people and really try and help people by giving them . . . “Well Brian, what if there’s other people that are struggling with alcohol?” Well, I want to be able to provide tips and making videos and help people with these things. What about losing weight and getting in shape? Great, I can help you do that too.
What about making money in real estate? Well, I can help you do that too. I want to provide wisdom. Wisdom, true wisdom. That’s why I thought “Thee Wise Guy” was a fitting name as compared to . . . plus I’m from Jersey, and the whole mob thing and the Sopranos. I guess I’ve got that look and everything. It’s a fun thing to play on. But in all seriousness, man, theewiseguy.com. It’s 95% done. A couple of the links don’t work. You’ll see a few bits of Latin script. But we’re cleaning that up here over the weekend and we’ll be good to go.
Definitely you can opt-in there and get on my emails and videos as I post them. We’re getting that pretty active here, now that we’re into March already, which I can’t believe.
Mike: Yeah, it’s crazy. Brian, I really appreciate your time. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I know it’s powerful. I think it’ll impact a lot of people. I think a lot of us . . .
It’s the type of stuff that you don’t usually talk about. When you’re in real estate circles, you’re talking about doing deals. People tend to talk about the good times, the things that they did well. A lot of folks don’t open up and talk about where they’re struggling, or what it’s all for. Some of the things we talked about today. I know a lot of people are going to appreciate you sharing that with us, so thank you.
Brian: Well, like they say, and it may be cliche, and I know we’ve both heard it probably a million times, Mike. But if there was one person, one man, one father who could hear one thing I said, and they make a positive change for that, and there’s a child out there that’ll have a better daddy, like you said before, what are we here for?
Mike: Absolutely. We’ll add the link for your site, “Thee Wise Guy,” down below the video here for anybody that didn’t pick it up. Brian, again, thanks so much for your time today my friend.
Brian: [Inaudible 32:06], Mike. Thanks for having me.
Mike: All right. Talk to you soon.
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